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I'm like that too - but in order to check myself if I crap out I usually only reup my account for $50 or $100 bucks at a time. So I'm never actually gambling that much.

I am just a beginner, and I...

Why would someone as experienced as you are in gambling (if you have been posting since 2007) be willing to even gamble 4 months of your salary?

Just gamble disposable recreational type income. ...