[bbyhill]

read this somewhere else and thought you cappers might enjoy it

You know you're an EXPERT handicapper if...

...your nickname is "Slim", "The Greek", or "Doc", even if you're none of those things.
...you know the difference between Pro-Ride, polytrack, cushion track, dirt and turf, but your own lawn needs mowing.
...you rate members of the opposite sex using Beyer figures.
...when asked about the 'situation in the Middle East', you respond: "I knew Curlin would win Dubai this year."
...Trevor Denman was the M.C. at you're wedding.
...you know every liquor store in town that carries the Daily Racing Form but have no idea where the library is.
...at one time in your life you have owed money to somebody named "Vinny" or "The Swede".
...you are on a first name basis with trainers, groomsmen, track bartenders and computerized betting machines.
...you love the smell of manure in the morning.
...you get straight-edged shaves from a real old-time barber. He is the only person who's advice you listen to. His name is Old Red.
...you once challenged Russell Baze to an arm wrestling match. And lost.
...you have a tote board in your kitchen.
...you make it to all the morning work-outs, but never your own.
...you calculate the costs of everything in $2 increments.
...there's a jockey on your lawn. Edgar Prado

You know you're a BEGINNER handicapper if...

...your favorite jockey is "the kid from Spiderman".
...you ask "where are the cheerleaders"?
...you bet every horse to "win, place, or third."
...you try to feed the horses.
...you fill out a Pick 6 card and then wonder 'when's the power-ball thing?"
...you pick horses according to the color of the jockey's 'pajamas'.
...you are wearing shorts, open-toed shoes, and/or sunglasses on the back of your head.
...you think fillies are horses from Philadelphia
...you're winning every race.

If you're none of these things, then you're probably a NOVICE handicapper, like most of us.

[TodaysAction]

Nice to re-read the list again, thanks.

[yahoonino]

Originally Posted by bbyhill

read this somewhere else and thought you cappers might enjoy it

You know you're an EXPERT handicapper if...

...your nickname is "Slim", "The Greek", or "Doc", even if you're none of those things.
...you know the difference between Pro-Ride, polytrack, cushion track, dirt and turf, but your own lawn needs mowing.
...you rate members of the opposite sex using Beyer figures.
...when asked about the 'situation in the Middle East', you respond: "I knew Curlin would win Dubai this year."
...Trevor Denman was the M.C. at you're wedding.
...you know every liquor store in town that carries the Daily Racing Form but have no idea where the library is.
...at one time in your life you have owed money to somebody named "Vinny" or "The Swede".
...you are on a first name basis with trainers, groomsmen, track bartenders and computerized betting machines.
...you love the smell of manure in the morning.
...you get straight-edged shaves from a real old-time barber. He is the only person who's advice you listen to. His name is Old Red.
...you once challenged Russell Baze to an arm wrestling match. And lost.
...you have a tote board in your kitchen.
...you make it to all the morning work-outs, but never your own.
...you calculate the costs of everything in $2 increments.
...there's a jockey on your lawn. Edgar Prado

You know you're a BEGINNER handicapper if...

...your favorite jockey is "the kid from Spiderman".
...you ask "where are the cheerleaders"?
...you bet every horse to "win, place, or third."
...you try to feed the horses.
...you fill out a Pick 6 card and then wonder 'when's the power-ball thing?"
...you pick horses according to the color of the jockey's 'pajamas'.
...you are wearing shorts, open-toed shoes, and/or sunglasses on the back of your head.
...you think fillies are horses from Philadelphia
...you're winning every race.

If you're none of these things, then you're probably a NOVICE handicapper, like most of us.

THAT VERY FUNNY STUFF,,,,,,