[babaoriley]

Let me preface this by saying I will honestly never watch American Idol again, ever. Just pull the plug if I'm ever faced with a "watch or die" ultimatum. That whole agreement with my wife (I'll watch AI, she watches playoff hoops) is up in flames. Never again. I can't possibly summon up the words to describe the absolute hatred I have for everything related to the show. If an earthquake swallowed up the entire arena tomorrow, I'd happily applaud. Indifference is for pussies when it comes to this. I'm pretty sure the "Axis of Evil" is actually a phrase used to describe the triple headed fukktard that is Archuleta-Castro-Cook.

Ok, where do I even begin? First off, Archuleta is a little troll. Not that I have anything against pre-pubescent stage-kids who couldn't take a dump without permission from his pops. And really, he'd be a likable enough kid if I was a Catholic priest, but Archuleta singing Elvis after saying "I hadn't really heard it" just made me want to strangle both him and his dad. And he was the least of the offenders tonight... Which brings us to Jason Castro. When he's not single-handedly setting back the marijuana legalization efforts by at least a decade, Jason enjoys moonlighting as an Ipod eraser. After his performance tonight, "I Shot the Sheriff" and "Mr. Tambourine Man" have been both been mysteriously banished from my itunes and if I could somehow have someone pull an Eternal Sunshine on me, Jason Castro's existence would probably be the number 1 memory I would want erased. Oh, a suburban white pretenda-stoner with dreds who probably calls people up daily at 4:20 and laughs about having the munchies is fun and all. If I ever want to know the relative merits of Pachouli vs. Nogchampa, he'd be my point man. But really, covering Bob Marley would have been the single worst thing to ever happen to not only American Idol but TV itself since Ashlee Simpson had her own reality show if not for David Cook... Bear with me here. I'm trying to procure some pure liquid morphine to help me get through this... My wife thinks I may need counseling and frankly, I'm a little scared of what I'd do to the therapist. Can you meet the judicial definition of "insanity" if you actually know you'll go crazy in a certain situation and still went through with it? Maybe I'd only get committed for a few years, at which time I'd assume they'd load me up so full of Thorazine and Lithium that maybe, just maybe I'd forget how much I'm hoping David Cook drowns in his bathtub tonight. Then again, this type of sh!t seems to stick with a man, and I'm fairly certain that I'd end up like Henry Bowers in Steven King's "It", staring up at the moon from my asylum only to see David Cook's face staring back at me. And what would he be singing? Yep, "Baba O'Riley". No sooner had the phrase "Worst thing to ever happen to my ears" been stated in complete defeat after Castro's butchering of Marley then... I can't even talk about this rationally right now. I just can't. Let's just say that hearing "Baba O'Riley" turned into a ballad/Ford commercial doesn't exactly excite me. "Teenage wasteland" indeed... What's next, karaoke versions of the Pixies, the Dead Boys, X? Will I be hearing the Ramones used to sell subscriptions to US magazine? Will the Clash be the ring-tones of the future (only sung by some twisted ninny in a sweater vest at 3 decibels)? I give up. I'm 30 years old and I'm pretty sure I give up. You've succeeded in taking everything good and somehow managing to turn it to absolute . Someone should just draw a big Golden Arches on the Sistine Chapel, paint a mustache on Adam, and somehow turn God into E.T. The touching fingers are already there and a little red paint and an "E.T. phone home" caption should do the trick. Seriously, I'm waving the white flag. I surrender to the inanity of anything that Rupert Murdoch touches. Between American Idol, the completely unwatchable playoff game, and the non-stop relentless promos for that "What happens in Vegas" movie, I'm pretty sure that the end of days has come and gone. To drive home the point, I turned to Comedy Central and the first line I heard from George Lopez was "White people get into some funny sh!t" (I assume he means, "Like somehow paying me for making Princess Di's funeral look funny"). Face it people, we're in hell.

[babaoriley]

P.S. Bread, I'm officially rooting for Syesha.


Actually, I'm rooting for disaster that would end the season and possibly the franchise.

[Dark Horse]

Haven't seen that sh*t since Rockstar INXS. Rockstar was a great show with real talent and drama, next to which American Idol is the sterile equivalent of a beauty pageant.

What are you guys looking for? The next 'Carrie Underwood'?

Why?!


You know Pretty Vegas. But how about Dilana's Zombie?

[Robyn]

I actually really enjoyed 'Baba O'Riley'. I thought of you when he sang it...and thought you would have been happy to hear someone FINALLY sing some good tunes on the show.

[Willie Bee]

Originally Posted by babaoriley

Not that I have anything against pre-pubescent stage-kids who couldn't take a dump without permission from his pops. And really, he'd be a likable enough kid if I was a Catholic priest...

That's some funny stuff there, Baba

[babaoriley]

Originally Posted by Robyn

I actually really enjoyed 'Baba O'Riley'.* I thought of you when he sang it...and thought you would have been happy to hear someone FINALLY sing some good tunes on the show.

Now that my ears have stopped bleeding, let me re-examine my opinion.* OK, no need to do that, they just started pouring blood again at the thought of it...Here's my beef with that song.* I've seen the Who (prior to Entwistle's death) play the hell out of that song in a live setting.* I was about 70 rows back and I thought my head was going to explode from the noise.* It was THAT intense.* I've been in the mosh pit at a RATM concert, been near the big ass speakers at a Massive Attack show at Coachella (talking about some f*cking bass), and have seen Fugazi (loudest live band ever).* I've had some great "loud" moments.* But at the end of the Who's set, when Baba hit stride, I was literally spent.* I heard ringing in my ears for hours after the show ended.* So, cue David Cook opening up the song in a ballad style cutesy version that has been done by PLENTY of local musicians in every city, town and unincorperated hamlet in the world.* This song isn't supposed to be slow at any point other than "Don't Cry/ Don't Raise Your Eye/It's Only Teenage Wasteland".* It's a "bring the lights on, we're about to f*ckin' wreck the stage" song.* Pearl Jam covers it frequently and ALWAYS makes it one of the last 2 songs of the night (usually last unless they come on for a 3rd encore).* I've heard a Nirvana cover of it and it was ok and at least maintained the pace, despite being sung by a complete and total pussy of a man.* So, my main problem with Cook is that he just kind of made a great song about rebellion and angst at the status quo (or more correctly an acceptance and embrace of such a crap state) into a car commercial song.* Really, if I was at a bar and heard that, Davey would still be picking out the pieces of glass out of his face from where my beer bottle pelted him after being hurled like a Randy Johnson fastball.* No way in hell would he get away with that sh!t in an Austin bar.* Look, I love hearing "Proud Mary" sung 12,683 times during the typical Idol season.* It's a staple of the show at this point.* Anything by Josh Groban is fair game too, though I especially would like to hear someone cover his snippet from the "I'm F*cking Ben Affleck" video.* My point is, there are some songs that are Idol-tastic, some that are Idol-meh, and some that are "I wish he/she didn't do that.* Then there's the "Get the f*ck outta here with that sh!t" choices... These fukkers tested me when they did a Beatles week, especially when that faggy Mike Johns decided to sing "A Day in the Life".* There are some bands that should not EVER be covered, and if they are covered it sure as sh!t shouldn't be on a pop-singing reality show that has churned out such wunderkinds as Clay Aiken, Anthony Federov, Kevin Covais and such edgy RAWKERS as Daughtry, Bo Bice and Bucky Covington.* Now, the Beatles statute of limitations has pretty much passed, as evidenced by the crapfest known as "Across the Universe".* My wife is a devoted fan of both musicals and the Beatles, so we figured match made in heaven right?* Ummm, no...* Not only did the filmmakers somehow come up with a way to botch some of the most perfectly written pop songs, but they also decided to teach a brief "1960's History for Squares" class in the process.* "Oh look, the 60's had some drugs and Vietnam.* There were good tunes and civil rights angst.* I NEVER KNEW!!!"* Ok, I'm going off in the wrong direction here.* Point being, that movie sucked so badly that we were embarrassed by it.* And the guy that plays the lead in that movie (also in the hilariously awful "21" which is a whole other story that I think Bread hit right on the head) makes me rethink trying to have a second child with my wife...OK, so back to Idol...* Last night there were 3 "Get the F*ck outta here" moments:1) The Who being played on American Idol.That song shoud NEVER be abbreviated.* Ever.* The condensed version just kills me.* Even the album version doesn't do much for me.* It's a classic "watch your eyes as bits off my smashed guitar go flying into the crowd" set-ender.* If some jackass wants to cover "Who are You?" or even "My Generation" then by all means, full speed ahead.* But never, ever, under any circumstances, should "Naked Eye", "Kids are Alright" anything off of Tommy except "Pinball Wizard", and most importantly "Baba" be covered...* (again, exception with actual bands with talent using it as a closing number/homage to greatness).* Cook f*cked that thing up to the point where it had sheen and that is NOT a shiny song.* 2) Jason Castro being allowed to pummel not one, but two great artists in one hour.If I were a kid and listened to that performance, I would swear off Bob Marley and Bob Dylan for the rest of my life.* I would think they were two of the worst songwriters in the history of music and would probably think Kenny Loggins was edgier.* Bob Dylan should only be covered by females who can make the song their own or by the VERY limited number of males who can make it their own (see Hendrix, Jimi).And don't get me started on the inherent humor of watching that goofy f*ck sing Bob Marley.* Bob was not a man of hate, but I'm pretty sure he would have pierced Castro's skull with the nearest sharp instrument after hearing that.* Just inconceivably awful.* Now, if Castro somehow gets enough VFTW love and wins, I'll at least be able to laugh this off.* Maybe.* 3) Giving Paula Abdul a mic.If David Archuleta farted into the microphone as the backing band played the theme song from "Three's Company", Paula would inevitably say "Wow.* David...* I just...* Thank you from, the bottom...* Of my heart...* You bared your soul for us tonight and I just... Can't... Imagine life without you. You're a star!"

Yeah, I'm over it huh? I hope the place goes down in flames tonight.

[babaoriley]

Originally Posted by Willie Bee

That's some funny stuff there, Baba

Willie,
Normally I'd say "Thank you, I'll be here all week" but there's a decent chance that I'll be locked up in 3 days after going on a destructive rampage against American Idol... I wouldn't be surprised if my wife files a restraining order on behalf of the producers after last night. Needless to say, it's out of our husband-wife Collective Bargaining Agreement as it pertains to TV. She can substitute E! News or something.

[babaoriley]

Originally Posted by babaoriley

Now that my ears have stopped bleeding, let me re-examine my opinion.* OK, no need to do that, they just started pouring blood again at the thought of it...Here's my beef with that song.* I've seen the Who (prior to Entwistle's death) play the hell out of that song in a live setting.* I was about 70 rows back and I thought my head was going to explode from the noise.* It was THAT intense.* I've been in the mosh pit at a RATM concert, been near the big ass speakers at a Massive Attack show at Coachella (talking about some f*cking bass), and have seen Fugazi (loudest live band ever).* I've had some great "loud" moments.* But at the end of the Who's set, when Baba hit stride, I was literally spent.* I heard ringing in my ears for hours after the show ended.* So, cue David Cook opening up the song in a ballad style cutesy version that has been done by PLENTY of local musicians in every city, town and unincorperated hamlet in the world.* This song isn't supposed to be slow at any point other than "Don't Cry/ Don't Raise Your Eye/It's Only Teenage Wasteland".* It's a "bring the lights on, we're about to f*ckin' wreck the stage" song.* Pearl Jam covers it frequently and ALWAYS makes it one of the last 2 songs of the night (usually last unless they come on for a 3rd encore).* I've heard a Nirvana cover of it and it was ok and at least maintained the pace, despite being sung by a complete and total pussy of a man.* So, my main problem with Cook is that he just kind of made a great song about rebellion and angst at the status quo (or more correctly an acceptance and embrace of such a crap state) into a car commercial song.* Really, if I was at a bar and heard that, Davey would still be picking out the pieces of glass out of his face from where my beer bottle pelted him after being hurled like a Randy Johnson fastball.* No way in hell would he get away with that sh!t in an Austin bar.* Look, I love hearing "Proud Mary" sung 12,683 times during the typical Idol season.* It's a staple of the show at this point.* Anything by Josh Groban is fair game too, though I especially would like to hear someone cover his snippet from the "I'm F*cking Ben Affleck" video.* My point is, there are some songs that are Idol-tastic, some that are Idol-meh, and some that are "I wish he/she didn't do that.* Then there's the "Get the f*ck outta here with that sh!t" choices... These fukkers tested me when they did a Beatles week, especially when that faggy Mike Johns decided to sing "A Day in the Life".* There are some bands that should not EVER be covered, and if they are covered it sure as sh!t shouldn't be on a pop-singing reality show that has churned out such wunderkinds as Clay Aiken, Anthony Federov, Kevin Covais and such edgy RAWKERS as Daughtry, Bo Bice and Bucky Covington.* Now, the Beatles statute of limitations has pretty much passed, as evidenced by the crapfest known as "Across the Universe".* My wife is a devoted fan of both musicals and the Beatles, so we figured match made in heaven right?* Ummm, no...* Not only did the filmmakers somehow come up with a way to botch some of the most perfectly written pop songs, but they also decided to teach a brief "1960's History for Squares" class in the process.* "Oh look, the 60's had some drugs and Vietnam.* There were good tunes and civil rights angst.* I NEVER KNEW!!!"* Ok, I'm going off in the wrong direction here.* Point being, that movie sucked so badly that we were embarrassed by it.* And the guy that plays the lead in that movie (also in the hilariously awful "21" which is a whole other story that I think Bread hit right on the head) makes me rethink trying to have a second child with my wife...OK, so back to Idol...* Last night there were 3 "Get the F*ck outta here" moments:1) The Who being played on American Idol.That song shoud NEVER be abbreviated.* Ever.* The condensed version just kills me.* Even the album version doesn't do much for me.* It's a classic "watch your eyes as bits off my smashed guitar go flying into the crowd" set-ender.* If some jackass wants to cover "Who are You?" or even "My Generation" then by all means, full speed ahead.* But never, ever, under any circumstances, should "Naked Eye", "Kids are Alright" anything off of Tommy except "Pinball Wizard", and most importantly "Baba" be covered...* (again, exception with actual bands with talent using it as a closing number/homage to greatness).* Cook f*cked that thing up to the point where it had sheen and that is NOT a shiny song.* 2) Jason Castro being allowed to pummel not one, but two great artists in one hour.If I were a kid and listened to that performance, I would swear off Bob Marley and Bob Dylan for the rest of my life.* I would think they were two of the worst songwriters in the history of music and would probably think Kenny Loggins was edgier.* Bob Dylan should only be covered by females who can make the song their own or by the VERY limited number of males who can make it their own (see Hendrix, Jimi).And don't get me started on the inherent humor of watching that goofy f*ck sing Bob Marley.* Bob was not a man of hate, but I'm pretty sure he would have pierced Castro's skull with the nearest sharp instrument after hearing that.* Just inconceivably awful.* Now, if Castro somehow gets enough VFTW love and wins, I'll at least be able to laugh this off.* Maybe.* 3) Giving Paula Abdul a mic.If David Archuleta farted into the microphone as the backing band played the theme song from "Three's Company", Paula would inevitably say "Wow.* David...* I just...* Thank you from, the bottom...* Of my heart...* You bared your soul for us tonight and I just... Can't... Imagine life without you. You're a star!"

Yeah, I'm over it huh? I hope the place goes down in flames tonight.

The asterisks were somehow put in by my computer, not me.

FYI.

[Robyn]

You need to calm down, son. You are going to give yourself a heart attack.

When a television show can evoke that kind of emotion (good or bad) from a viewer, that means they are doing something right.

Like it or hate it, music is open for interpretation There is nothing wrong with taking a classic and introducing it to a younger generation via a different arrangement.

[babaoriley]

Originally Posted by Robyn

You need to calm down, son. You are going to give yourself a heart attack.

When a television show can evoke that kind of emotion (good or bad) from a viewer, that means they are doing something right.

Like it or hate it, music is open for interpretation There is nothing wrong with taking a classic and introducing it to a younger generation via a different arrangement.

Funny thing is, I'm calm as hell until I start to think about Castro. Then all bets are off. That said, it IS American Idol and at this point, I'm hoping that Castro wins it all. I fully understand the VFTW concept and now I've come to embrace it. However, it has been deleted from my season pass tivo list and seeing as there's an NBA game on tonight, it will not be getting my Nielson vote again.

[Hoganknows]

Castro---the never wash my long hair punk is gone ---long live AI---whoever voted for this idiot must have been on Meth

[Robyn]

Originally Posted by babaoriley

Funny thing is, I'm calm as hell until I start to think about Castro. Then all bets are off. That said, it IS American Idol and at this point, I'm hoping that Castro wins it all. I fully understand the VFTW concept and now I've come to embrace it. However, it has been deleted from my season pass tivo list and seeing as there's an NBA game on tonight, it will not be getting my Nielson vote again.

People watch the show for many reasons. Some watch to live vicariously through the dreams of others. Some watch to develop their new "crush". Some watch for hopes of disasters such as Sanjaya and Castro. But...none should watch thinking that they are going to encounter an undiscovered musical gem. The show is what it is. Entertainment.

[Stumpage]

Babaoriley, This is by far the best rant I have ever read.....Actually, I'll call it "Rant" and "Son of Rant", and only about a half-hour apart. Absolutley brilliant.....I'd add that the only saving grace to this show is that from time to time when I happen to look up while it's on, that Syesha contestant just gets hotter and hotter. That's it.....

[babaoriley]

Originally Posted by Stumpage

Babaoriley, This is by far the best rant I have ever read.....Actually, I'll call it "Rant" and "Son of Rant", and only about a half-hour apart. Absolutley brilliant.....I'd add that the only saving grace to this show is that from time to time when I happen to look up while it's on, that Syesha contestant just gets hotter and hotter. That's it.....

Thank you Stumpage. Because you enjoyed both Rant and Son of Rant... I may get myself properly lubricated with a bottle or two of wine and watch again next week, despite my indications otherwise.

With any luck, I'll be able to turn my pain into "Grandson of Rant", though I'll admit there's a 13.5% chance that I end up in some sort of heavily policed institution, surrounded by men in white coats with rumpled brows, feverishly writing on notepads, as I go Hulk on them.

Oh, and because everyone cares, here's a story from abcnews about Archuleta's dad. What a joke. Hey Dave, STAND UP AND KICK YOUR DAD IN THE FACE. Tell him to LEAVE YOU THE **** ALONE...
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/...ory?id=4826816