Robyn & Bread's American Idol Column
Capping & Recapping American Idol
By: Robyn & Bread | sbrforum.com
This season's American Idol is getting down to the real nitty gritty as just nine of the original contestants remain to endure Simon's comments, Paula's stupor and whatever RJ brings to the mix.
I would like to preface my review of Week 10 with a couple thoughts. I watch this show because my wife, Robyn, enjoys me watching it with her. And she partakes in plenty of football, baseball, basketball, jai alai, etc with me. So it's all good.
Last year, I picked Jordin Sparks to win it all when there were about 50 people left in Hollywood. I remember looking at Jordin's odds on-line and she was always a pretty big underdog. Did I bet it? No. Because I am an idiot.
This by no means makes me an authority. Just a closet homosexual who watches 'American Idol.'
I am very, very disappointed that Amanda Overmyer was eliminated. Without her, not a whole lot of comedy left for my viewing pleasure. Her two-toned mane. Her tarmac voice. I got cancer just watching her sing!! She will be missed.
Las week's theme for the contestants to sing songs from the year they were born. Chikezie Eze was the first of the Top 10 to be eliminated. Despite the fact that he looks like the love child of Forest Whitaker and Ice Cube, the guy can sing. But Randy said his song choice put him to sleep. Me too. Fo reezy Chikezie!
On to the remaining nine contestants!
Ramiele Malubay
They started off by showing a baby picture of her, which re-affirms that I am terribly frightened of Asian babies. She sang 'Alone' by Heart. It was horrendous. Randy called it "pitchy," but what else is new. Paula "Gives her brave." Huh? One of her few verbal gaffes all night. Sad.
Odds before the show: 25/1
Odds after the show: 25/1
Bread: A cute girl who dresses like a transient. She wears a lot of lip gloss and maybe that is making her lips stick together when she sings? She goes home very soon.
Robyn: Ramiele mentioned in the pre-show interview that she loves singing karaoke. Unfortunately for her, that is exactly what she is going to be doing a year from now. Her vocals are not powerful enough to even contemplate hitting notes in Nancy Wilson’s powerhouse range. When Ramiele is booted, a collective wailing will be heard as men all over the country cry out in sadness when the adorable spinner sings her swan song.
Jason Castro
Castro is our eccentric this year, sporting albino like dreads and an acoustic guitar. He sang a Sting song and I really enjoyed it. He definitely has skills, but always looks so uncomfortable in front of a crowd. I think he will do much better once eliminated, performing for the small crowd at the local hemp store.
All the judges disliked the performance, culminating in Simon saying it was like someone performing outside of a 'Subway.' God I love that guy.
Odds before the show: 12/1
Odds after the show: 15/1
Bread: I think he is Top 5 material. He has a good sound and girls find his eyes dreamy.
Robyn: He is going to fly under the radar for a few more weeks. A very strange looking kid with predator dreads, Jason has pretty smooth vocals, proving that less is sometimes better. What he lacks in guitar skills, he definitely makes up with a pair of sparkly blue eyes that have the teenage girls in the audience going absolutely crazy.
Syesha Mercado
I do love me some attractive dark women. And Syesha is no exception. She was born in 1987. I could be her father. Or her daddy. She sang some song called 'If I Were Your Woman.' I loved it. Sounded awesome. Paula said that her performance now gives her the status as the "dark horse of the competition." Whoa! Hey! Is that appropriate?
Odds before the show: 15/1
Odds after the show: 12/1
Bread: I'm picking her to come in third. She has the voice and the attitude. Plus I want to touch her, and every year a girl I want to touch comes in the Top 3. Mark it down!
Robyn: This girl has amazing technical vocal skills. One thing about Syesha is that she is one of the best singers in the competition. Unlike some of the other contestants, she has managed to stay out of the main spotlight. This could be promising for her staying power, but it could also land her in the bottom three week after week.
Brooke White
She was born in 1983 and plays the piano. She sang a Police song, 'Every Step You Take,' which reads out like a stalker's diary. Creepy. The camera zoomed in on Brooke playing the piano, and she has the hands of an 80-year-old woman. It's really bizarre.
Odds before the show: 9/1
Odds after the show: 9/1
Bread: The girl has definite talent, but seriously, how far would Tori Amos go on this show? Not very far at all. And that is what she is. A Tori Amos prototype.
Robyn: I have no idea what to think about this girl. She looks like she is in her 30's, but is apparently only 24-years-old. Very strange. She reminds me of a Van Gogh...both beautiful and hideous at the same time. Vocally, she isn't very strong, but she is able to play both guitar and piano. That gives her a few extra points in my book. I see her making it to the Final Four.
Michael Johns
Born in 1978, and the ladies love this Aussie hottie. I don't see it, but whatever. He's no Sanjaya. He sang Queen songs and I hated it. Plus, people with two first names make me nervous.
The judges loved his performance and so did prepubescent girls everywhere.
Odds before the show: 13/1
Odds after the show: 11/1
Bread: He will be in the Top 5. That's about it. Not as talented as some of the others. Bringin' back the t-shirt-sleeveless vest look!
Robyn: MJ was my original pick to win the whole thing. Not because I thought he was hot or super talented, but because overweight housewives across America seemed to flock to him as if he were the second coming of Constantine Maroulis. Said women even have a name for themselves...The Aussie Posse. Wow. After discovering that he is nothing but a one trick pony, I have completely gone in the opposite direction. I expect him gone within three weeks.
Carly Smithson
Born in 1983 in Ireland, this girl has an incredible voice. Robyn got goosebumps once and it wasn't from the ice cream we were eating. There is no doubt Carly will have a bright future after the show. I'm just completely baffled by where she will place.
She is good enough to win it all, but I think her lack of attractiveness will be her eventual undoing. Whether that is in second place or seventh remains to be seen.
Odds before the show: 10/1
Odds after the show: 12/1
Bread: I have no freakin' clue.
Robyn: I am a huge fan of Carly's voice. Vocally, she reminds me a lot of Kelly Clarkson, whom I have seen in concert twice, thank-you-very-much. One thing to watch with Carly is that she has a tendency to oversing. This could result in a bad week or two for her if she pushes too hard and loses her voice. I think she will make it to the final two, given she doesn't do anything stupid to ruin her chances.
P.S. --- I disagree with Bread. While Carly is not the most attractive girl, keep in mind how hideous Kelly Clarkson was until the last few weeks of the competition. Makeup, stylists and diet pills can work wonders. You can't count anyone out on looks alone.
David Archuleta
He was born in 1990. This excited me because I thought that he might do an N.W.A. song. But alas, no. I can't even remember what he sang because it just dawned on me that he looks like a member of Menudo. I saw Archuleta's rendition of John Lennon's 'Imagine' a few weeks ago and it was amazing. This week is not even comparable.
Randy said "Check it out baby, check it out" and Simon used my favorite word from his arsenal to describe it: "Ghastly." Yes!
Odds before the show: 4/5
Odds after the show: 11/10
Bread: It's only a matter of time 'til America's inner cynic takes over on the boy wonder. You can see it happening. Remember Melinda Doolittle from last year? Exactly. He's not winning.
Robyn: For those of you who didn't already know, Archuleta won the Juniors competition on Star Search five years ago. I really like his voice but I simply can not stand to listen to this kid speak. David will not win this competition, but I see him finishing in the Top 3.
Kristy Lee Cook
A legitimate piece of eye candy that has no chance of making the Top 7. How sad. She sang that 'Proud to be an American' song. Which is brilliant because the judges can't criticize her song choice for fear of being branded anti-American.
This reminds me of a funny story: Back around 1991 or so, during the Gulf War, I went to a fireworks show at a park for July 4th. For the grand finale of the show, they played that song. I took a moment to look around me, and everyone looked so happy to be sharing that moment together. Representing all different races and classes, putting everything aside for that beautiful moment as that song blasted from the loudspeakers.
Then it ended. And the mad rush to get to the parking lot and Beat the Traffic began and people were pushing each other and arguing and honking horns. God Bless America.
Odds before the show: 100/1
Odds after the show: 100/1
Bread: I would've taken Mt. Saint Mary's to win the entire tournament before I would lay a cent on this talentless hottie.
Robyn: I wish I could say that I don't understand why the producers feel it necessary to include a "country" singer every season, but that would just be silly considering all of the money they have made from Carrie Underwood. However, I will say that if they are going to continue with this tradition, they should at least make sure to pick a decent country singer. When I watch Kristy sing, I feel like I am witnessing a grown up JonBenét Ramsey putting on her favorite sparkly cowboy boots and singing for y'all in the Yoonited States of America! Don't get too comfortable with this little filly, she will be leaving in a week or two.
David Cook
Born in 1982, he chose 'Billie Jean' by the King of Pop. Just 45 seconds into it, Robyn wrote down "Winner" on a piece of paper and slid it over to me. I had already thought the same thing. He has been solid throughout, but this performance should give him a strong push to victory.
Odds before the show: 4/1
Odds after the show: 5/2
Bread: Grab him before the odds get even lower!
Robyn: At this point in time, this is my pick for the winner. If you take into consideration the millions 19Entertainment has made from Daughtry, they are seeing huge dollar signs right about now.
The bottom three last week:
- Chikezie Eze
- Syesha Mercado
- Jason Castro
Tuesday, April 1st, is Dolly Parton night. WHAT?! The top 9 finalists will perform Dolly Parton songs. I'd rather take a nap. Any guesses as to who will get to sing 'I Will Always Love You'? Country is Kristy Lee Cooks preferred genre, so you can be certain that she will be safe one more week. I would put money on it.
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