[Femda]

Good Day,

Last month a friend of mine committed suicide and left a note of many reasons why he did it. He was a compulsive gambler. He was in weekly poker matches, and gambled on sports games for almost 12 years.

I knew him well, and knew he was losing everything. In total he lost over $86,000. I was told he was in debt, and even sometimes had to find shelters to live.

Some of his friends told me he wasn't gambling anymore, but it got worse. He won $5,000 in poker one night and went to the casino with a friend of ours and blew it on blackjack.

It's a terrible reminder that gambling is a bad self structure in the mind and it needs to be controlled.

He didn't kill himself because of the losing money. $86,000 isn't something to kill yourself. It can cause life problems, but it's not worth taking your life.

Considering most people in our country are in debt over $250,000 and have other debt substances that can take them over $500,000.

The disease of gambling didnt' kill him either. It's what drove him to sanity, and that's what did it. I knew him well and about 4 months ago, he wasn't the same person.

A few weeks ago his family gave me his computer, and SBRFORUM.com was bookmarked.

I want everybody to be aware of the dangers that gambling may cause. Losing money is irrelevant, and that's why most continue to be addicted to gambling.

Winning the big one isn't worth it as losing the big one. Not money, but life!


I feel it's my way to help others by this message. Please, life is everything.

The ones left behind are the ones who are the real losers in this decission.

[imgv94]

Who was it?

[Dark Horse]

S. Pam. Judging from the same message posted in the NFL and NCAAF forums, so far.

[ritehook]

A member of my family destroyed himself with compulsive drinking.

There are compulsive eaters who bring misery to themselves and all around them. And binge eaters.

I read there are also sexual compulsions, where one seeks conquests, not physical gratification. These folks are likely also in bad esteem with themselves.

It's good to know of warnings, and heed them if you're going over the deep end.

I hope that is your message. And welcome here.

I hope, tho, that it's not a plea for banning or punishing. That's been tried with other addictions, and does not seem to work very well.

In the US there are both private and governmental entities that will assist a psychologically compelled person with an addiction to gambling, drinking, drugs, binge eating, smoking etc.

They do, I assume, a lot of good. It's seems the way to go, rather than try to outlaw behavior people will do anyway.

Which is why legal nationwide sports betting would have a significant component of assistance to the dangerously addicted.

Every legal online sports betting site would likely be required to post free banner ads for Gambler's Anonymous or other groups or therapy to help the self-destructive addicts.

While no one can say for sure, such actions and publicity may have helped save your friend. On the other hand, some folk will pursue destruction regardless. There's nothing that can be done, except to use their lost lives as object cases, as warning of the perils of addiction.

[slacker00]

Don't Wall Street guys jump from ledges too, sometimes? I think it's a similar phenomenon.

[Dark Horse]

Sorry for your loss, Fernda. Let me share a different story with you.

A friend of mine was a compulsive gambler. Lost hundreds of thousands of dollars to the one-armed bandit. He no longer has this problem. His life is back in order and so are his finances. My wife and I met him near his darkest point when he shared his problem. He later told us that he was so relieved that, when he told us of his gambling addiction, we just laughed and joked about it. He was so used to being judged instead. At the time he gave us his ************ and we gave him some basic business advice. That was it. He trusted us and told us when he had some relapses, but we never judged him and always kept things light. Everybody is different, but for him the lighthearted approach turned out to be a way out. Judging creates separation. What he needed was to be understood.

I realize you mean well, but you are fortifying the myth that gambling is a deep hole that is almost impossible to crawl out of. Is that really the message you want to send?

[tullamore]

No matter what we are doing in life we all need from time to time to take a step back and evaluate are actions and direction in life. One needs to make sure that their decisons are getting them to where they want to be in life and not digging themselves a bigger hole.

Sorry for the loss of your friend.

[moneyplays]

Sorry for your loss.

[pokernut9999]

I think most people are missing his point. He never states one should not gamble, he states that money is irrelevent.That life is important to everyone and by committing suicide you are hurting the people that you leave behind

Sounds like he is trying to help anyone that may be in this predicament. If you help just one person it is worth the post. I am sure there is someone on this forum in dire straits.

Nice post and I can appreciate it. I had a friend that I did not even knew gambled. He kept it to himself and never asked for help. He went to jail after robbing banks. He had a young daughter and wife. It was a sad to see someone throw so much away.

Sorry for your loss.

[imgv94]

Posts #6 and #7 touched me..

Thanks Dark Horse and tullamore.

[ritehook]

It's a terrible reminder that gambling is a bad self structure in the mind and it needs to be controlled.

The above sentence in the OP is ambiguous - it can be read two ways. Controlled by the individual afflicted, or controlled by an outside force, ie, the govt.

I responded by assuming - tho not dogmatically so - the second, that outside control was needed. The OP really did not make his/her message clear.

[imgv94]

Wonder what poster it was?

[rugbybdyb]

Sorry for your loss, That sucks, and that is why I dont live in Vegas or within a 500 mile radius of a card room......I love to play poker, and gamble on football but my wife helps me keep that in check......

[imgv94]

If my brother wasn't married he would play poker all day and night.

Thats what he told me the other day.

[dodif]

I live in Vegas with no wife. To each his own. If I had a 40 hr a week job and a wife I would kill myself. 40 hours of working then another 40 hours of bitching and I'm shooting the dogs too cuz I'm sure thats what they would want. Sorry for ur friend.

[Zeroed]

There is no doubt that gambling in its origin form SUCKS. Big time.
Many people here are Professionals thou, that is something totally different. But still, this shit can be dangerous, and it can hit almost everyone.

[dodif]

get help if gambling makes u have thoughts of suicide.

[imgv94]

I live in Vegas with no wife. To each his own. If I had a 40 hr a week job and a wife I would kill myself. 40 hours of working then another 40 hours of bitching and I'm shooting the dogs too cuz I'm sure thats what they would want. Sorry for ur friend.

You are the man.

[HedgeHog]

It certainly gives you pause for the thought. Sorry for your loss and thanks for bringing it to everyone's attention. No one is beyond addiction to one thing (s) or another and I am re-thinking my overall alcohol consumption after this next beer. Seriously, your point hits home and I wish your friend sought help before his drastic decision. He obviously had a good friend in you. 'Hog

[ZeRo C@iDa*]

When one admits that nothing is certain one must, I think, also admit that some things are much more nearly certain than others....

BlEsS* bLeSs* Us ALL

[SBR_John]

Gambling is a dangerous hobby. many times we have talked about money management here and its important to think about again in light of this thread.

A proper money management stradegy must take a worse case scenario and have you lose every bet forever and still not affect your life. For example never bet more than 20% of your weekly pay a week. Most guys can afford that. If you make $800 a week and lost every single bet you would be down $160 for the week.

Gambling is only safe with good money management and disclipine. If you find you do not have a good level of both you should find a new hobby.

[HedgeHog]

Gambling is a dangerous hobby. many times we have talked about money management here and its important to think about again in light of this thread.

A proper money management stradegy must take a worse case scenario and have you lose every bet forever and still not affect your life. For example never bet more than 20% of your weekly pay a week. Most guys can afford that. If you make $800 a week and lost every single bet you would be down $160 for the week.

Gambling is only safe with good money management and disclipine. If you find you do not have a good level of both you should find a new hobby.

Amen, John. But what you described is moderation, something the addict (be it gambling, alcohol, drugs, whatever) can't adhere to.