[bubba]

cant really explain. just want support.

[Lucas]

it is autumn... take some drugs... it will be better
no seriously, try to survive several month, it will be better by itself, you have my mental support

[bubba]

i miss my old girlfiriend. it sucks. and if i win the beat the prick contest i have noone i wanna go with. i wanna go with her. i miss her every fukin day. i hate her for makin me all upset.

[Lucas]

well if it helps you... I miss my girlfriend for a year... although she was an intolerable bitch... and if I fall asleep I have only two kind of dreams:
- that I lost 20 dimes
- that I **** her
After the first case I am happy that I am awake.
After the second I am depressed too.
I am really sorry to hear that. Time is a healer.

[bubba]

im serious here though. i probably should not have posted this here. i dont want to be made fun of and i dont want to be told stupid advice like to go sleep with 50 girls and just forget her. so i dont know what i want from this board.

[bubba]

geez lucas. if i still think about her after a year u might as well shoot me now. been a couple months now.

[rm18]

you could exercise, and maybe not bet, and call her if that is an option

[bubba]

i see her every freakin day, she knows how i feel

[Lucas]

In my experience she will be vanishing maybe the whole life... but that is only MY experience. But you should rehouse immediatelly....

[bigboydan]

Talk to JJ.

I think Skippy would put him in a deeper depression

[Dark Horse]

Many things you can do. Body-mind-spirit approach. Take your picks:

- Exercise. Keep the juices flowing. Releases endorphines too, if you're into running.

- Keep the mind creatively occupied. Can't be depressed if the mind is positively focused.

The mind is controlling you, and you want to flip that around so that you control the mind. This is one of the great challenges placed before each of us. One helpful exercise is to catch every negative thought as soon as it arises, and flip it into a positive thought. Positive, constructive thoughts cannot possibly create depression.

- Lay down on the floor, and force yourself to laugh for 15 minutes. Especially if you do this with a friend, chances are you will almost kill yourself laughing. Laughing is great medicine.

- If you're so inclined, learn to meditate.


If that doesn't work, set aside 15 or 20 minutes a day to look 'darkness' straight in the face. Really dive into the heart of it. This will release you from the fear of being depressed, and, since fear has a magnetic quality, will losen the grip of the depression.


Good luck. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[isetcap]

Great stuff, DH. That's a really genuine and helpful post. Makes me happy just thinking about what you've so eloquently written.

Thank you!

[Foolosophy]

I second that! I was about to suggest focusing on the positive things about being single (for a while at least), but DH nailed it. Very insightful.

Dum di dum.....always look at the briiiight side of life.......

[HeinousAnus]

Good post Darkhorse.

Bubba, you miss her every day and you see her everyday. These 2 are probably correlated, no?

A Buddhist goes to Thailand, get's ordained, meditates for a long time. He goes to his teacher and says 'venerable Teacher, I have meditated for a long time, but always I find myself thinking of my girlfriend, of all the good times we had, I really miss her. I am trying to be a monk, but I can't concentrate properly and my meditation is going to pot.' The teacher tells him ' write to your girlfriend, ask her for a small vial of her excrement. Tell her it would benefit you a great deal. You had a close relationship with her and she understands what you are trying to do here. Keep on telling her it will help you a lot. Then, once you have the vial, whenever you miss her, open the vial and take a good whiff. I guarantee you that the feelings of sadness and loneliness will gradually fade away.'

Lucas, don't do drugs. Drugs are bad, m'kay?

[bubba]

yes, of course correlated

[Mudcat]

i see her every freakin day, she knows how i feel

That's bad.

It reminds me of a situation I was in about 15 years ago. I fell in a love with a female co-worker. In one of those truly dreadful moments in life, I confessed my love to her. She did not reciprocate. So there I was stuck seeing her every day at work, feeling depressed and humiliated.

There was no chance for moving on with my life. I just dragged my heart around every ******* day.

Long story short, I finally quit the job - but not until after a year of that misery. If I had to live it again, I would just quit the job ASAP. Like ripping off a band-aid, there would have been that initial sting - but it beats the hell out of the slow, prolonged pain I went through. It would have been really difficult to walk away; I really loved her. And there would have been financial problems from quitting my job. But I would have survived. Mental health is a lot more important than money.

Moral of the story: I don't know why you see this girl every day but, if there is any way you can put an end to that, you should IMO. It's the only way to move on with your life which is all-important.

[bubba]

and now, are u married mudcat? i know im only 23 but im afrad of being alone forever. i suck at meeting people. not that i just want any1. she really was special to me

[jjgold]

The girl thing will get your depressed more than anything. I am always depressed and take pills to control it. I fall in love at least 2x per month and I never get any hints back that she is in love with me. I do not like it that other guys can get girls and I am a failure at it. If I had a decent set of hair things would of been different. A good pick me up are uppers or greenies, they make you feel better. Some nights I just sit in the dark and wonder what it could of been. Other nights I use binoculars and look into other buildings and see if I can see nude women in their apts and do this all night hoping to see something. Its not fun being lonely and depressed but its part of life I guess. I have tried so many pills to correct the problem and nothing really works . The downers help relax me but I think it makes you more depressed. Gambling does not help matters as it preaches loner type activity. I cannot remember the last time I smiled for real. I think more guys are depressed here than they let on. We mostly strike out with women. The hooker thing is ok at times but the euphoria ends once she leaves. I mean it feels great to be loved for the hour but it is fake. When you strike out all the time with ladies it is hard to take, no man likes it. After writing this I think I am going to go lie down and look back on everything.

[Tchocky]

I have been suffering from seasonal depression for the past couple of years. I'm fine during the week but on the weekends...all I do is sleep. I have been more active since I started playing tennis again. Betting on football keeps the weekends interesting. Maybe you should seek professional help. Your depression make just be temporary or it may be clinical. Anyway...you should seek help.

[Mudcat]

and now, are u married mudcat? i know im only 23 but im afrad of being alone forever. i suck at meeting people. not that i just want any1. she really was special to me

I can relate to that. I was in my mid-20's when my situation happened. I was not talented at meeting people. And I didn't want to meet anyone anyway. I wanted her.

But unfortunately it wasn't my choice. My only choice was whether or not to move on with my life.

All I can tell you is, life went on. I quit that job and cut Sharon out of my life. It hurt. But then somewhere along the line there came a day when she didn't cross my mind. Time passed and I thought of her less and less. That's the way these things go. It's all a distant memory now. I wonder if I'd recognize Sharon if I saw her on the street now.

You asked if I'm married. The answer is no. I was in a common-law relationship for several years if that counts. I have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me very happy right now.

At the time I quit that job/girl, I really questioned if there was hope for me. It turns out there was. I hope you can pardon the cornball message but it's true: if there was hope for me, there is hope for anyone.

[SBR_John]

A LOT of really good posts in this thread. Thanks guys for helping bubba.

I go fishing if I get bummed out.

Writing the problem down and the solutions, like a math word problem in school really helps. Break the solution down in steps. Knock out a few of the solutions a day and also plan to do something cool just after you have finished your solution work for the day. It could be fishing or a movie or anything outside of the house.

That way you cut the solutions into manageable bites and still have something to look forward to.

[goldengoat]

get a good dog

not to do anything immoral but they can cheer you up and fight with you

[JoshW]

Is normal to feel upset and depressed over this. But if it last longer than couple weeks you might want to see a doctor and discuss getting some counselling or seeing a psychologist.

[pags11]

bubba,

if you want to be a truly great capper, you've got to be able to put women in perspective brother...GL...