[betplom]

The Aardvark (Orycteropus afer) (afer: from Africa) is a medium-sized, burrowing, nocturnal mammal native to Africa.[1] It is sometimes called "antbear", "anteater", "Cape anteater" (after the Cape of Good Hope), "earth hog" or "earth pig". The name comes from the Afrikaans/Dutch for "earth pig" (aarde earth, varken pig), because early settlers from Europe thought it resembled a domesticated pig. However, the aardvark is not closely related to the pig; rather, it is the sole recent representative of the obscure mammalian order Tubulidentata, in which it is usually considered to form a single variable species of the genus Orycteropus, coextensive with the family Orycteropodidae. Nor is the aardvark closely related to the South American anteater, despite sharing some characteristics and a superficial resemblance.[2] The closest living relatives of the aardvark are the elephant shrews, along with the sirenians, hyraxes, tenrecs and elephants.

[betplom]

Not to be confused withthe Firefox extension:
http://karmatics.com/aardvark/

[betplom]

Aardvarks are mostly solitary and nocturnal, but sometimes will come out during the day to sun themselves. When aardvarks sleep, they block the entrance to their burrow, leaving only a very small opening at the top, and curl into a tight ball.



(Reminds me of a few SBR posters)

[Casperwaits]

If an aardvark grants you three wishes, than it is not an aardvark it is a leprechaun. If the aardvark grants you three wishes for $200, it is my ex girlfriend.

[betplom]

Originally Posted by Casperwaits

If an aardvark grants you three wishes, than it is not an aardvark it is a leprechaun. If the aardvark grants you three wishes for $200, it is my ex girlfriend.

lol

[Mudcat]

Aardvarks can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Wait, wrong thread.

[betplom]

Aardvarks are specialized for eating termites. They move from one termite mound to another, dismantling the hills with their powerful claws. Insects are trapped by the aardvark's long protractile tongue (as long as 30 cm), which is covered with a thick, sticky saliva. Sometimes the aardvark will press its snout against an opening in a mound and suck up the termites. Aardvarks, with their keen sense of smell, also hunt for the long columns of termites that move outside the mounds at night.

highlighted/bold for the ladies.

[betplom]

Originally Posted by Mudcat

Aardvarks can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Wait, wrong thread.

Your obviously infatuated with Chuck Norris, which is no surprise, many men fantasize about Chuck.

[betplom]

The adult aardvark's principal enemies are human (who sometimes kill it for meat), lions, hyenas and leopards; pythons also take the young. Aardvark flesh is relished by several African tribes and many parts of the aardvark body are used as charms: the teeth are believed to prevent illness and bad luck.

[pavyracer]

Chuck Norris once killed an Aardvark with his bare hands.

[Casperwaits]

Originally Posted by betplom

Aardvarks are specialized for eating termites. They move from one termite mound to another, dismantling the hills with their powerful claws. Insects are trapped by the aardvark's long protractile tongue (as long as 30 cm), which is covered with a thick, sticky saliva. Sometimes the aardvark will press its snout against an opening in a mound and suck up the termites. Aardvarks, with their keen sense of smell, also hunt for the long columns of termites that move outside the mounds at night.

highlighted/bold for the ladies.

By termites, he means pussy, and by dismantling hills he means tearing s**t up!! The last time I pressed my "snout" against an opening, I got a night in jail for solicitation!!

[HedgeHog]

We called Uncle Charley "aardvarck". Apparently he was an Aunt-eater.

[betplom]

Pavy, Casper and Hedgehog, funny sh.it fellas!

I sprayed coffee all over my keyboard cause of you guys.

Originally Posted by Casperwaits

By termites, he means pussy, and by dismantling hills he means tearing s**t up!! The last time I pressed my "snout" against an opening, I got a night in jail for solicitation!!

That's the funniest thing I've read here in a long time.

[betplom]

[Mudcat]

I'm just glad we don't have a bunch of aardwolf supporters here. Aardvark and aardwolf people have been at each other's throats for longer than the Arabs and Jews.

Nothing but heartache comes from these alphabetization conflicts.

[Casperwaits]

aardvark translated in Ethiopian means: "Keeper of great loins". In many African countries, Aardvark semen is used as a penis stimulant similar to Viagara. Unfortunately for many Ethiopian men, the woman expect a dinner before they put out which makes aardvark semen useless in their villages.

[betplom]

Did You Know?

* The aardvark has fewer teeth than most mammals. The teeth are columnar in shape, have no roots and do not grow simultaneously.
* Although not thought to be teritorial, females seem to become attached to a particular place. The males wander more. Adult aardvarks are usually solitary, coming together only for mating.

[Willie Bee]

I hear they also enjoy the occasional creamsicle.

[Mudcat]

After seeing that, my feelings of kinship with the aardvark only increase.

[Chi_archie]

where did the tell a chicken 2 do anything thread go?

[Willie Bee]

Originally Posted by Chi_archie

where did the tell a chicken 2 do anything thread go?

HERE

[betplom]

As it is nocturnal and has poor eyesight, the aardvark is cautious upon leaving its burrow. It comes to the entrance and stands there motionless for several minutes. Then it suddenly leaps out in powerful jumps. At about 30 feet out it stops, raises up on its legs, perks up its ears and turns its head in all directions. If there are no sounds, it makes a few more leaps and finally moves at a slow trot to look for food.

[AMBlai01]

Thank you Professor Betplom, informational and entertaining as always!