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  1. #1

    Default American Idol Final 8

    http://www.sbrforum.com/Betting+Arti...ight-baby.aspx

    It’s down to the Elite Eight, and unlike last week’s NCAA Elite Eight, I actually plan to hit some winners (damn you Louisville). The theme for the show is songs from the year that the performers were born. Gee that’s great. I can’t wait to hear songs that I was jamming out to years after graduating high school, as a subtle reminder of my vanishing mortality. On to the show!

    This week pulls out all the stops by presenting us with baby pictures of the performers. They don’t stop there, however, as they also broadcast photos of the judges and host. Baby Paula looks exactly like grown-up Paula to the point that it’s creepy. Baby Simon has a gun which surprises nobody. Baby Ryan Seacrest is actually an inch taller than adult Ryan Seacrest which I though was just adorable.


    Baby Bread





    Danny Gokey +233
    “Stand By Me”
    If I have said it once I’ll say it a thousand times. This guy has zero chance of winning. Once again they show his wacky family, who just think that Danny’s the most terrific thing a-goin! He showboats and makes silly faces and his entire family tree laughs uncontrollably. Good Lord.

    Can Gokey sing? Of course he can. But I am positive that almost everyone else is getting as tired of watching him as I am. Once the show trims the fat and gets down to the nitty gritty, Danny will be in some trouble.

    Kris Allen +669
    “All She Wants To Do Is Dance”
    Kris Allen’s sudden fast break had the brakes applied a little bit this week, as he presented a rather subpar performance of this Don Henley song. I believe my actual response might’ve been “Blahhhh.” Not to fear, as I still think he surprises many people by outlasting Gokey. There are some nice odds for that on Matchbook.

    Fantasia Barrino II +1900
    “What’s Love Got To Do With It”
    Dare I say that Barrino II actually looked pretty….hot? Nahhh, I’m sure I just need to replace my old contacts.

    Simon called her a third rate Tina Turner, and then said that she gave “a ghastly copycat performance.” I cannot describe the joy that I experience whenever he describes something as being “ghastly.” It was a good night. Barrino II will probably be visiting the bottom three.

    Anoop Desai +4900
    “True Colors”
    I was almost positive that Anoop would be breaking it down with some Bel Biv Devoe or something like that. He totally surprised me by choosing a great Cyndi Lauper song. Even more surprising is that he nailed it.

    You never know what you get with Desai from week to week. This probably means that next week he will be horrible, but for now he is safe.

    Scott MacIntyre +4900
    “The Search Is Over”
    I would like to offer my condolences to all of you who might’ve placed a wager on Scott in the beginning, thinking that the novelty of his blindness might push him along. The dream is officially over. This was a terrible performance for a guy who was hanging on by a thread anyways.

    Allison Iraheta +1900
    “I Can’t Make You Love Me”
    Allison is a great singer, but I’m sure she was absolutely dreading baby picture night. Young Allison resembles the legendary Bat Boy. I felt bad for her. The good news is that she grew up. She sang wonderfully and the judges finally gave her some love. She still is not very popular with voters and will probably see the bottom three tonight.


    Baby Iraheta



    Matt Giraud +2400


    “Part Time Lovers”


    Giraud is going for the full Justin Timberlake vibe tonight as he is all JT’d out. The look, the sound, and even a few dance moves all bear intentions of reminding the audience of the pop megastar. And it kinda works. Sorta.



    The truth is, if American Idol were broadcast on the radio instead of TV, Giraud could have a really decent shot at winning this thing. Don’t be mad at me for stating it, I didn’t make up the rules. He’s still safe for a few weeks, don’t worry.



    Adam Lambert +100


    “Mad World”


    An absolutely hilarious intro as Lambert’s parents are talking about his childhood. His mother is mentioning all the different things that Adam was interested in, when Dad says “Sports, not so much.” Awwww, poor Dad! Lambert reveals that he was more into playing dress-up to the surprise of absolutely nobody.



    Lambert picks the best song week in and week out. “Mad World” is a great tune. I didn’t realize it was that old. Once again he puts his own spin on it to perfection. Simon gives him a standing ovation, which he does for nobody. Even with eight players left, I would feel comfortable telling anyone to take Lambert at even money. This contest is over for all intents and purposes. When the show is over, Adam will be playing dress up all over his debut album and Bread will be cashing another American Idol winner.



    As for tonight’s elimination, I’m going with Scott MacIntyre. Don’t worry big guy, Howl At The Moon is getting a piano and a tip jar ready for ya.
    Last edited by Willie Bee; 04-08-09 at 10:17 AM. Reason: add front page link

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    Queen Bee agrees, the blind dude and his seeing eye dog go home tonight.

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    I'm gonna get rich tonight.

    Unless the black girl gets the boot...who, by the way, was looking uncharacteristically hot last night.

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    Herman you didn't watch because you were too busy playing Mr. Detective with RyanXL.

    Don't act like you don't have an Adam Lambert poster on your door.

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    i dont see how adam lambert can lose this. i haven't seen a guy this popular with the girls/voters in so long.. i'd nver seen simon ever give one singer a standing O, but he did for him. his looks, his smile, his charm, his peronality (really nice guy) and of course his popularity with the young ladies makes him such a huge fav.. i am hoping this don't become the most lopsided AI ever.

    even if he has bad nights and his voice cracks or forgets the lyrics, he will still be there..

    THIS SHOW IS NOT ABOUT WHO HAS THE BEST VOICE, IT'S A FREAKIN POPULARITY CONTEST.

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    and of course his popularity with the young ladies
    Nicky don't forget about his popularity with the young boys. This kid is a shoe-in! Even money with 8 ppl left is about the safest bet ever, me thinks.

    Hey Herman, Adam Lambert is gonna rape you.


  9. #9

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    HEY BREAD! I thought you would love this review from dlisted.com

    Last night's American Idol confirmed to me that Kara DioPLEASEFALLINAHOLE is ****ing with this shit! The dumb bitch's lock jaw is making it hard for her to get the words out fast enough thus making the show go over! Unlock that shit or hook your jaw up to the back of a truck and go home. Because the show went over, my raggedy Tivo didn't record all of Adam Lambert's performance. Kara is to blame. Or maybe the Idol producers pulled this trick out of their assholes to get us to watch the show live. Even if they gave me the phone number to Paula's back alley pharmacist, I still won't watch this ****ery live. Thank Cheesus for the internets, because I was able to see the performance everyone and their sperm donor was queefing glitter bombs over. So let's dissect after the jump. JUMP!!!

    Adam Lambert "Mad World" (above) - What's the name for Adam's superfans? Glitterheads? Glamberts? Drama Fags? Ravers? Whatever they call themselves, they have been trying to convert me since day one. It can't be done. Whenever he performs, I feel like the set should be changing itself and I expect to see dancers wearing shiny costumes to prance about him. When he finishes singing, I'm all ready for him to break into a scene where he laments about his missing cow. I always turn around, because I expect to hear some loud ass old man complain about how his theater seat is making his Sciatica act up. It's all very community theater meets a Meat Loaf video. And that's who he kind of reminds me of. He's like a fancier version of Meat Loaf made with brioche, lamb livers and a pinch LSD powder. Adam's performance last night was straight out of Donnie Darko the Musical, but the judges' ass lips tingled so much for it that they all stood up. Even Simon made his fur titties bounce for Adam by getting off his ass. And even though I'm not raising a glow stick to Adam, I still think he belongs in the top 2 with...
    Allison Iraheta "I Can't Make You Love Me" - You know how most of you have to eat your own hair to contain the excitement you feel for Adam? I feel the same way about Allison. I don't know if it's because she has the voice of a 45-year-old Reno, NV casino waitress who is addicted to Nicorette patches or because she wears all her clothes backwards. I just lo-lo-lo-love her. She makes me want to hung a banana until it explodes. I felt that her song last night was dedicated to everyone out there who keeps voting her in the damn bottom! Allison will never win this mess, but I hope she at least gets the chance to battle the Glitter King in the end.
    Danny JOKEy "Stand By Me" - What tiki bar did I walk into?! I want to stand by Danny, just so I can push him off the stage. When are we all going to gather together as one and send Danny back to the Lens Crafters display case he came from?! Danny is just so 1992. Unfortunately, California Dreams is no longer on the air, because Danny was born to play the geeky janitor who constantly annoys the band by begging them to let him sing back-up "just once."
    Lil Rounds "What's Love Got To Do With It?" - Yes, drunk drag queens in Minnesota do better Tina Turner impersonations, but there was something endearing about her performance last night. I think it was the kitchen ass wig on her head that looks like it was fished out from the Los Angeles River.
    Kris Allen "All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - Wake me when he finally gets the memo and starts performing topless. Show them nipples!
    Anoop Desai "True Colors" - Apparently his true color is ****ing bright lime green! The only thing I could focus on was his striped-lime green cardigan! And his version of True Colors was not better than THIS ONE.
    Matt Giraud “Part Time Lover”- This shit sounded like the time my chihuahua had a bad case of the hard shits and would screech every time a doody nugget was coming out. A screech that almost melted his poop! That's what Matt sounded like and the judges ****ing ate it up. They ate up melted poop.
    Scott MacIntyre "The Search Is Over" - Just NO! Joel Osteen probably rocked out to this mess last night and that says everything. Scott made most Christian Rock music sound like the ****ing Circle Jerks. It's time for Scott to flutter away!
    My bottom 3 prediction: Scott, Lil Rounds & Kris.
    Who will be executed?: Scott
    225pts

    SBR POKER TOURNEY4th Place 5/16/2012

    1028pts

    TOP SPORTSBOOK
    WINNER
    4/29/2012

    325pts

    SBR POKER TOURNEY2nd Place 5/9/2012

    559pts

    SBR POKER TOURNEY3rd Place 5/26/2012

    1000pts

    TOP SPORTSBOOK
    WINNER
    05/06/2012

    400pts

    SBR POKER TOURNEY1st Place 5/17/2012

    75pts

    SBR POKER TOURNEY11th Place 5/22/2012


  10. #10

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    Hoff that's funny shit. He's as done with Gokey as I am.

    Anytime you can mention Joel Osteen in a piece, you have made it in my book.

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    i dont watch ai, but blind guy is safe tonight

    they always keep a really bad singer around until maybe 5 or 6 are left

    i put $50 (-110) on him staying at matchbook

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    lostur...its either blind guy or black girl.

    GL to you.

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    No way a girl goes home tonight....and blindballs is the only choice.

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    Sorry marbles...I tried to help you out.

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    willie told me only 5-12 year old girls watch this crap. your analysis is raising some eye brows.

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    blind guy is out?? oh well, thanks for the warnings.

    you guys must be heartbroken.

    road rules/real word challenge will cheer you up

    (disclaimer: i dont watch that crap either)

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    bread, what is hanna montana next tour schedule?

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    Pico I dunno but Bret Michael's Rock of Love Bus is down to the final two...OMG!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robyn View Post
    No way a girl goes home tonight....and blindballs is the only choice.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robyn View Post
    Is Road Rules/Real World still on????????
    dunno, gf said it was season premiere tonight. maybe she's

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    I stopped watching that nonsense when I realized that the kids that are on it now were born when I was in high school. LAME!

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    bread, can you get me some jonas brothers tickets?

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    Pico don't get ghetto Asian on me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robyn View Post
    I stopped watching that nonsense when I realized that the kids that are on it now were born when I was in high school. LAME!
    wow thats some old pussy lol j/k .................

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    Quote Originally Posted by The HOFF View Post
    Adam's performance last night was straight out of Donnie Darko the Musical, but the judges' ass lips tingled so much for it that they all stood up.
    100% agree with this comment. He copies Gary Jules version and the judges make it like it was original. They did this last year with a song and it pissed me off then too. I am too buzzed still from happy hour to remember who it was. Might of been David Cook.

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    David Cook doing a Michael Jackson song....Chris Cornell version. Holler.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bread View Post
    David Cook doing a Michael Jackson song....Chris Cornell version. Holler.
    Yep that was it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Willie Bee View Post
    Baby Bee
    Showing off my baby pictures again, huh Dad?

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    Quote Originally Posted by BadNina View Post
    Showing off my baby pictures again, huh Dad?
    No dear, that was me. Here's my favorite one of you:

  32. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by Willie Bee View Post
    No dear, that was me. Here's my favorite one of you:
    ahhhhh...mammories

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