[The HOFF]

MATT BROWN -205 vs RYAN THOMAS +165
Matt " The Immortal" Brown. Well let's see... you've lost 7 times, 7 TIMES. Obviously your sister gave you that nickname. This nickname fits better: PANZY - one who is an annoying bitch who has no balls.

Ryan Thomas is a Squishy Face. Just look at him.

The back of his driver's license says LEGALLY RETARDED. His black belt is most likely from The Special Olympics.
MATT BROWN -205



ALVIN ROBINSON -110 vs MARK BOCEK -120
Easy way to pick the winner here. Bocek has red hair, freckles, ahh yes... A GINGER KID.

ALVIN ROBINSON -110



JEREMY STEPHENS -135 vs RAFAEL DOS ANJOS +105
Don't know who the hell you are. But you are named after the coolest TMNT. That's fuking badass. And who doesn't want to bone April the reporter? Remember Casey Jones? He was cool too.
RAFAEL DOS ANJOS +105



JORGE GURGEL -125 vs AARON RILEY -105
Where have I seen Aaron Riley before?

Gimme that booze, you pumpkin pie hair-cutted freak!
JORGE GURGEL -125



DUSTIN HAZLETT -180 vs TAMDAN McCRORY +150

Tamdan McCrory, where have you seen him before? How about DATELINE NBC: TO CATCH A PREDATOR. Yeah that's right, trying to diddle a 13 yr old. You probably saw Dustin Hazlett on the same show, but he is way less creepy.
DUSTIN HAZLETT -180



DEMIAN MAIA -245 vs NATE QUARRY +195
FROM WIKIPEDIA: "Nate Quarry grew up as a member of the Jehovah's Witnesses, which he later characterized as a cult that controls its members 24 hours a day. Quarry grew up in a sheltered lifestyle and did not even participate in organized sports until age 24, when he first became exposed to mixed martial arts. After a period of self-discovery, Quarry rejected his Jehovah's Witness upbringing, which caused him to become alienated from his family and former friends. He began to associate with others outside of the church, and along the way began to train in mixed martial arts fighting."

Only bad ass motherfukers spurn their religion and go it alone like a true rebel. This could be an after-school special. Fuking awesome.
NATE QUARRY +195



GABRIEL GONZAGA -420 vs JOSH HENDRICKS +340

I'm not shiting you. This is tallied in the win column for Hendricks. You beat a rollie-pollie tub of shit, wearing a leotard, who CLEARLY has an erection. I'm sorry, but you're going to get fuking steamrolled by that hairy beast of a man Gonzaga.
GABRIEL GONZAGA -420



KENNY FLORIAN -180 vs JOE STEVENSON +150
Kenny, LOOKOUT! GUILLOTINE attempt! Rogan screams "Kenny is in trouble" as Stevenson lets it go and never had it in the first place. Joe Stevenson then throws the Keough punch! Keough! Keough! Keough! (That little diarrhea grunt gives it more power) GUILLOTINE attempt! Slips out. GUILLOTINE attempt! Slips out. Stevenson tries to look away, but it's too late... the mere sight of Kenny's elbow causes Stevenson to bleed like a child molester getting shanked in prison. Fuking awesome.
KENNY FLORIAN -180



BROCK LESNAR -130 vs RANDY COUTURE +100

That's right. Rocky IV, the movie that single-handedly ended the Cold War. A fight to defend democracy and conquer communism. Randy has to avenge Apollo's death.
"HEARTS ON FIRE, STRONG DESIRE." Can you see Randy on the mountain top? LESNAR!!!! LLLLEEEESSSNNNNAAARRRR!
I can't.
BROCK LESANR -130


CAN YOU SEE ME NOW? CAN YOU SEE ME NOW?

Yeah... but I can also see the ENORMOUS penis tattooed on your chest.

[supershark]

interesting....

[THE_LOCKSMITH]

I also like Quarry as an underdog pick at +195. No doubt Maia has awsome sub's, which is why Nate will do everything in his power to stay out of them. And if he can keep it on his feet he might be able to get the decision (or KO).

[Bread]

HAHAHAHAHA!! These are getting better. Ginger Kids eh? You can have those, I'll keep the Pink Hamsters.

PS...I wonder if Nate Quarry's period of self-discovery meant he went on a masturbation rampage??

[turbozed]

I enjoy all Rocky IV references, but if Quarry is involved then the reference should be directed at him. Remember his fight with Starnes?

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... if I can change... and you can change... everybody can change!"

[teaserpleaser]

Aaron Riley will beat Gurgel

[vassman86]

I think the safest bets on this card are Maia (-210, bodog) and Riley (+108, pinny).

Maia will finish the fight by submission.
Gurgel blows. it's true. this guy wouldn't be in the UFC if he weren't Rich Franklin's friend.