Do the elephants have a Miss Congeniality up their sleeve?
It’s starting to eat the talking heads and their respective flocks alive, this question about just who will be the anointed running mates the donkeys and elephants choose. From the e-mail bag this week comes news that the GOP might have a "fire and nice" choice for McCain to make who is also "drop dead gorgeous to boot." Sound like a promo for next year’s American Idol? Well, maybe it is.
I’m diving right back into the e-mail bag this week for news and notes about the upcoming election. Compliments of an uncle comes this little bit about a possible VP running mate for the elephants:
Quote:
At 44, Sarah Louise Heath Palin is both the youngest and the first female governor in Alaska's relatively brief history as a state. She's also the most popular governor in America, with an approval rating that has bounced around 90 percent. This is due partly to her personal qualities. When she was leading her underdog Wasilla high school basketball team to the state championship in 1982, her teammates called her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her fierce competitiveness.
Two years later, when she won the "Miss Wasilla" beauty pageant, she was also voted "Miss Congeniality" by the other contestants.
Sarah Barracuda. Miss Congeniality. Fire and nice. A happily married mother of five who is still drop dead gorgeous. And smart to boot.
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The e-mail goes on with other info about why she might make a good choice to be Sen. John McCain’s choice for his VP running mate this fall. Primary on that list of reasons is the fact she is a woman. A white woman, in fact, as the e-mail points out. I sort of figured that out from the photo that accompanied the e-mail.
Sen. Barack Obama’s support among white women, the e-mail claims, has plunged, so Gov. Palin would be the answer to coming in and scooping all of them up and give the elephants a landslide in November presumably.
Here’s another snippet from the e-mail:
Quote:
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Running mates usually aren't named until the convention. But if Sen. McCain should name Gov. Palin earlier, it would give America more time to get to know this extraordinary woman.
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Oh great. Here’s a guy, McCain, who has been involved in adulterous affairs in the past and the GOP thinks giving him more time "to get to know" the Alaskan governor is a good thing?
Now don’t get me wrong; there’s a lot I like about Gov. Palin, and the claim that she’s "drop dead gorgeous" isn’t one of them. Or at least it’s way down the list. Honest.
For instance, any woman who is a lifetime member of the NRA and also fishes, I don’t care if she’s only got seven teeth in her head, breasts sagging past her waist, a flat ass and skinny thighs, she’s already drop dead gorgeous to me. If she also owns both an RV and the boat, Divorce Court here I come.
Gov. Palin has done a pretty damn good job in Alaska from what I can tell, truly acts like a fiscal conservative instead of just claiming to be a fiscal conservative like that elephant living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue presently. She’s for opening up parts of Alaskan wilderness to drilling, like me, and I’m betting that if she remains the governor way up yonder in what one of my buddies always liked to tease a Texan such as myself was the first
and second largest state in the US, she’ll fight for every dollar that comes out of the ground for her fellow Alaskans, just like I would.
If this sounds something like a marriage proposal, well it is and it isn’t. It isn’t because of all that bigamy stuff out in West Texas lately, and I sure as hell don’t want to be confused with those nut cases. And it is except for the part that I don’t rightly know what to do with the fact she’s got a husband and I have a wife. Any ideas that aren’t illegal, at least not felonious in legal stature, please leave your ideas below.
Editor’s Note: Also, if anyone has shots of Gov. Palin when she was Miss Wasilla, please post. This is strictly for historical purposes, naturally. Besides, if the elephant backer who sent the original e-mail thinks she’s drop dead gorgeous now, the readers have the right to know just how hot she was to start with.
Unfortunately, there are also a few things working against Sarah, uh, I mean Gov. Palin, with regards to getting this chance to serve under, er, alongside, uh, as the Vice President of the United States. One is she’s the Governor of Alaska. There generally isn’t a strike up the band, the election is in the bag atmosphere when a candidate realizes they are getting all three of those nods from the Electoral College.
She also pretty much made it clear that she agrees with the
legal standing of same sex couples with her very first slash of the pen as governor. That won’t sit well with the ultra-right at a time that the GOP is no doubt being pressured to pair someone with McCain who can quiet his opponents who say he doesn’t represent the born again hypocrites. I’m sorry, I mean the
evangelical part of the elephants.
Then there is the experience factor. Now as the Veep, her primary job duties would be domestic in nature, though I am hesitant to use the word ‘domestic’ to describe a woman who is a lifetime member of the NRA. Of course, domestic in this sense just means serving as the chief bouncer in the Senate. But if something should happen to McCain, she would be expected to step in and take over a ton of international duties at a time when America ain’t exactly highly held abroad. Not that we can ever do right by some countries, but it’s definitely at an all-time low since I’ve been hanging around in this life.
In the end, I think she’s a far better choice for McCain than Mitt Romney, her Massachusetts contemporary that’s being touted. Palin’s lack of experience is a much easier hurdle to clear in my opinion than Romney will bring in pacifying some of the far right. I don’t have any doubt that the press would have a field day with her as a VP candidate and chew her up some. But I also think she’d play well with the voters, especially the moderate white females from 18-118.
Besides, she hunts and fishes, and the fact she’s hot is the proverbial gravy on the biscuit. I e-mailed her and will update if I hear back.