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Originally Posted by The Prick
"ay, estoy san grando" which for all you white boys that don't habla like me means "I got ass-raped last week!" da Prick got hornswaggled, stove-piped, corn-holed, bamboozled....that fackin' 8-ball deal is one defective hunk o' scheit. So here's the deal: I finally talked them cheap bastages at SBR into paying to get my cable hooked up, and I ACTUALLY watched my first football game of the year this weekend. By "watched" I mean drank Bavaria Negro 'til I was full, the switched to Centenario rum and smoked Glaucoma medicine 'til I passed out in my La-Z-Boy with football on the TV. So in exchange for that financial investment, these SBR yobos disabled my Magic 8-Ball feature....Christ, the man always got his foot on yer neck. I got crap to do, and these CRIS "minders" ain't gonna let me leave the compound 'til I post this, so down ta business (Congrats winners, you really showed me, blah blah blah)
Clemson -34 that SBR John guy is workin' my last nerve, says I don't get paid if I don't slap together some tout sorta write up, so this is for him. Yeah, thats a big-ass nut to cover, the biggest I could find in fact. So what? These Tigers ain't no joke. They move the ball up and down the field, bring the wood on "D", and with a Bowden at the helm they ain't skerred to run up a score. Tech, on the other hand, can't score. Period. Cash this one in, girls, and buy yerselves something purty.
Va Tech -9 WTF is a "Hokie"???? somebody told me it was a turkey.....anyhow, now that these SBR Einsteins got these matchup stats up, this is an easy gig. Click on this game, big ass green star by Va Tech. Gotta mean something, i reckon. Va Tech is a good home fav and flat-out owns the 'Jackets. What kinda friggin' school names their teams after a fackin' bumble-bee???? and then dresses 'em up all homo-ish to match????
Ohio St. -6.5 Seriously, the Hawkeyes are my boys.....I used to hang out up that way, and them big ol' country girls'll keep yer ass warm all winter long. BUT even with that strong homefield they ain't got enough to stop the Buckeyes in this one. It ain't much gonna hurt my feelings if Tate & Co. wins, but that's prolly gonna happen right after Elton John decides that chicks are the way to go.
Saints +7.5 Did i tell ya I got cable now? Watched that whole MNF deal, sober as a judge, and this is a pretty good NO ball club. Yeah, short week. Yeah, "emotional hangover". Yeah, this is the Saints and we're all waiting for the other shoe to drop. Screw that, these boys can play. Carolina ain't impressed me at all, unless ya count knockin' out girlie Cris Simms' spleen. i'd have thought more of that if one a them Panthers woulda ate thing while it was quiverin' on the field. Bottom line, I think the Saints win the game, or at the very least get me paid with a cover.
There they are, boys, my best effort of the season. Now all I gotta do is sneak out a window to get down to the Del Rey before all the good broads are "busy". Don't bother entering this week, squares, 'cause nobody gets paid.
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